Hi collaborator,

Today is Juneteenth, the anniversary of the enforcement of the Emancipation Proclamation and freeing of the last enslaved African Americans in 1865.

The other day I was talking with my good friend FyerLyon about our practices of paying reparations to Black folks. We reflected on what we pay, how often, and how much. We each listened as the other shared what feels good about this. We each held space as the other noted discomfort about to wanting to give more.

When I’m alone and reflecting on my reparations practice, I sometimes feel discouraged by what I give, because I want to give more. But when I connected with my friend about this, I felt a sense of safety that allowed an idea to surface. The idea was a simple one: write this newsletter. I can give a small amount of money on my own, but together it is possible for us to give so much more.

This reminds me of how important it is to connect with others about struggles we experience with our dogs. When I return from a difficult walk with Muggins, or when they say, “no” for the 7th day in a row to their hygiene care, it is easy to crumble into a discouraged heap of self-loathing, recounting all the ways I’m not doing “enough” to train my dog. But when I share my struggles with my partner, and he says something like, “yea me too” or “that’s so frustrating”, my body instantly softens. Then, instead of crumbling, I start realizing all the ways that I am doing enough, and I find motivation to can get back out there and try again.

Just knowing that we are not alone, for even a brief moment, helps our nervous systems find a sense of safety that allows us to keep going. On our own, we can only do so much, but together we can do so much more.

If you’re looking connect with someone about your struggles with your dog, reply to this email and let me know. I’ll reply back and let you know you’re not alone!