I believe in dogs. I believe in their gentleness and humor, their insight and wisdom, their sense of smell, and their sense of humans.

I believe in their belief in us, even when I don’t believe in myself, and especially when I lose faith in humanity. 

When my dog turns their eyes toward me, I breathe more deeply. When I turn my attention toward them, I am more aware of the ground beneath my feet. When I recognize that the messages my body sends me are also the signs of safety or danger that my dog is sensing in the environment, I am able to pull myself out of a constantly moving mindlessness and ground us both in a state of calm awareness. As I employ a daily practice of attuning to my dog, I am able to honor my authentic self in a way that contributes to their good behavior and that allows us to engage fully in life, together. This practice also contributes to how I connect with other humans, the wildlife that inhabits the land outside my home, and the community in which I reside. For me, this practice begins with dogs, but it grows boundlessly and permeates every corner of my world. I believe that dogs provide us with opportunity to be fully alive, truly connected, and deeply loved.

Many people say that dogs love humans unconditionally. This is easy to think. After all, dogs are probably the only species that is as responsible for their domestication as humans are, and they only exist because of their affinity for and ability to communicate with us. Dogs will run for thousands of miles if we ask them to, and they will sleep at our feet for days if we are ill. Dogs follow us around our homes and lay by our graves after we die. Dogs seek us out and quite literally save our lives. They kiss our tears and share our laughs, they create opportunity to play and facilitate healing. Dogs appreciate our care and return our affections with gentle licks, excited greetings, helicopter tail wags, and hours by the door following our departures.

Dogs do love humans, but not unconditionally.

Dogs do not have the ability to survive without human care. They depend on us for shelter, sustenance, healthcare, safety, and enrichment. Their love for us is based entirely on the condition that we will provide for them. Dogs have to love us, or they will pay with their lives. 

We also love dogs. We are overjoyed when any dog responds to our words with a wag, whether the tail belongs to our companion or someone else’s. Dogs are our friends, our guides, our partners, our children, our health monitors, and our family members. We play with them, walk with them, eat with them, travel with them, and rest with them. For some, a relationship with a dog promotes survival, contributing, not only to getting up in the morning, but providing reason to remain alive. We appreciate that their ability to smell opens the world to things that we could not otherwise know. The ability of dogs to communicate and work with humans contributes to a fortuitous and celebrated partnership unlike any other in the world.

We do love dogs, but not unconditionally.

We admire, praise, and revere our dogs…until they behave like dogs. Then we kill them. Dogs are simultaneously our companions and our victims. We have situated dogs in relationship to us as property. We call ourselves “masters” and train them to “obey”. We teach them to Sit and choke them when they do not. We shock them when they do not listen to us or when they stray too far. We create unreasonable expectations and then throw dogs away when they dig “too much”, bark “too loud”, or growl to ask for space; and when they bite because we haven’t listened to them, we deem them unfit for continued existence. We only love dogs when they do what we want, behave in admiration of us, and don’t make mistakes. This isn’t really love at all.

By reimagining our relationship with dogs, we can create a world in which we live in reciprocity* and experience mutual flourishing*. A world in which we give without expectation, honor what we feel, and appreciate the incomprehensible umwelt of the other. I imagine a world in which we slow down, breathe deep, and truly connect. I imagine a relationship with dogs that begins with grounding in ourselves, a practice of introspective and embodied awareness that contributes to interspecies collaboration and collective wellbeing. 

If you can imagine this too, let’s collaborate!

*This philosophy is inspired by North American Indigenous belief systems, especially the Haudenosaunee and Michi Saagig Nishnaabe cultural wisdom, which ground themselves in foundations of consent, gratitude, reciprocity, responsibility, and mutual flourishing. I am humbled to learn about this through the writings and lectures of Robin Wall Kimmerer (member of the Citizen Potawotami Nation and author of Braiding Sweetgrass, Nature Needs a New Pronoun, and The Serviceberry: An Economy of Abundance), Leanne Betasamosake Simpson (a Michi Saagig Nishnaabeg scholar, author of As We Have Always Done and A Short History of the Blockade: Giant Beavers, Diplomacy, & Regeneration in Nishnaabewin), and others.